You watched me curl up in a ball, stare blankly into space, and just dig my face into a pillow. Took me for starbucks, vanilla steamers, grocery runs and 10 games of street fighter.
By the time I thought my tears were exhausted, I talked to another friend and heard her agony and repeated the process. You sat patiently listening, holding, back scratching and everything.
"Thank you(s)" aren’t sufficient.
Excited to be home. Excited for a 4 hour car ride with Crystal so that her and I can jam out to her guitar playing skills. Excited to squeeze waffle. Excited to eat home cooked meals. Excited to see mom and dad and little brother. Excited to visit friends. Excited to cram so much in a weekend.
Today, October 20th, 2010, everyone is urged to wear purple in remembrance of the recent suicides in the LGBT community. I will not be wearing purple.
Here’s the thing: Admittedly, I’m saddened by the recent suicides in the LGBT community. I find it tragic, and my heart breaks for the kids and all their loved ones. I definitely feel that that awareness must be raised about the impact of bullying on LGBT youth, and suicides within the LGBT community.
That being said, this awareness is needed for all youth across the nation. We’re all aware, or should be aware by now, that the US has a major problem of bullying/suicide. This problem reaches across all demographics, and expands to all youth. Some youth are more likely to be harassed, and/or kill themselves, as a result of the bullying than other children. Gay and lesbian youth, unpopular children, socially inept children, and overweight children, are all categories of youth that are more likely to get bullied, and/or commit suicide. A recent study discovered that the number one group of youth to endure harassment is “fat kids.” But, even though studies may reveal that certain group of kids are more prone to getting bullied, and/or committing suicide, doesn’t mean that kids outside of those specific groups don’t experience the same harassment. Which, in acknowledging the high risk of bullying, and committing suicide, for ALL youth, these organizations that speak out on anti-bullying and suicide prevention, should in fact be speaking out for ALL teens and children, of all sexual orientations, of all ethnic backgrounds, all across the nation.
4500 youth commit suicide each year in America. The majority of them are not gay.
When do they get their day of remembrance? When do they get their special color?
Again, I’m not saying that the media shouldn’t have focused on the fact they these kids were homosexuals. I think it’s important to make the connection of bullying of LGBT youth and LGBT suicide. The type of ignorance and intolerance that leads to the harassment is not acceptable. But, isn’t all bullying driven by intolerance, and aren’t all types of kids a victim of this intolerance? All I’m saying is that the fact that these kids were gay should not have been their main focus. I believe that a lot of the medias responses to LGBT youth suicide are an error.
They’ve stripped these kids of who they really are. They had a homosexual orientation, but that is not what defined them. I am sure they’re family didn’t see their existence as nothing more than the fact that they were gay. Their families knew them intimately; they knew their heart and character apart from their sexual orientation. That is what these kids should be remember for; not for the fact that they were a gay suicide victim. The media has stuck a label on them; they’ve made them a martyr for a cause. Instead of being viewed as a precious human life, many people are now only seeing them as a statistic.
That is the real tragedy.
EDIT: I will be wearing my TWLOHA I AM ALIVE Suicide Prevention T-shirt today. I will wear it in remembrance of these recent suicides, but I will be remember who they were, not what they were.
this same verse is in a song from a band my friends were in. listen to “The Eternal Ocean.” it’s 8 minutes long, but worth your while. www.mysp…
I thoroughly enjoyed that song, THANKS TIM! :]
I also went to Focus last night because I promised Cullen that I’d go this week. This weeks is also zombie week for anyone in APO left in TAG. Which is me, but everyone I’ve ever killed will be after my ass, and will probably try to get me out before the week ends.
Maybe I can play it safe and be a hermit…or I can disguise myself, or just hide in the school buildings until safe hours start…
EITHER WAY I’M GONNA WIN WHETHER YOU WANT ME TO OR NOT.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”—
Even then, I know He has plans for me, but they’ll never be achieved unless I work for them. (I’ve been reading this verse over and over and I’m ridiculously at peace right now.)
4:20 AM, I have left my apartment, drove to pick up other members, and ended up only being responsible for Cullen’s arrival to the race.
4:45 AM, we arrive at the race center, it’s kinda cold and I’m very pink. We get volunteer t-shirts and information, people show up late and don’t get a shirt, I donate mine instead.
5:15 AM, Cullen and I are sent to work around the expo center, our volunteer work consisted of pointing anyone who wanted to know where the info desk was, then we walked around getting assorted pink goodies, food, hot cocoa and we watched all the enthused teams stretch and get pumped up for the 5k run.
Race happens, we cheer, more racing, more goofing off and free goodies and kisses :0) and when we cheered for the final stretch, towards the finish line it reoccurred to me that I’m a foreigner in these parts.
It seems like back home there were more teams running, more space to run in and more of a enthusiastic ending when people crossed the finish line. That and there are faces I would know and just smile at as I saw them triumphantly cross.
-back to what I wanted to say-
Race for the Cure was lovely as always. Then after watching avatar, I head my way over to the firefly run where we passed out water to the runners and cheered them on. YAY! In this I got two led light up stretch bands and a glow in the dark bracelet thing. People are funny when they’re running…or not running.
Jack turned 21. His bigs are younger than him. I enjoy providing service to the community.
Also, my parents told me they were gonna visit…then changed their minds. :[
I SWEAR IF I DON'T SEE THEM "A's" POPPIN UP IN MY GRADEBOOK I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE
I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason. I’m here for a reason.
When my husband died, because he was so famous & known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — & ask me if Carl changed at the end & converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again.
Carl faced his death with unflagging courage & never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief & precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive & we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous & so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space & the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me & it’s much more meaningful…
The way he treated me & the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other & our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.
(Ann Druyan, talking about her husband, Carl Sagan)