August 2009
counting
down the days where I could physically see you. I’m missing you more and more each day
and AYE the time is THREE OH THREE. fun fact.
Talk
1. Today my mother called me. I thought she had calmed down. Nope, her and father attacked me, after last week, verbatim they told me to not bother coming home because I was not welcomed, today to got yelled at for not wanting to visit. Okay. Wow. I’m going to Arkansas whether you guys like it or not. END.
2. I talked with someone who had a dream about my death…I’m terribly...
...I want this... →
after reading Galadarling’s outlook on this miracle pill, I, myself want to try…so any willing dear online admirers who would buy me these? Yes yes?
Just kidding, I can take care of myself. It helps dimishes the dark circles under my eyes….
it’s a tempting buy and I might do it…
my thumb
has an ugly gash.
I hate unwrapping packages. I suck.
Things I love Thursdays
Photos, Steven, tumblr posts, reading, Art History, Chemistry class, dancing, soft breezes, how the electrical generator near our apartments are running on water, karaoke nights every 2nd and 4th wednesday of the month, sunday mornings, somewhere beyond the sea, singing with people, being with my best friend, eating healthy foods, downing water, sprinkes, letters from the mail; the legit mail,...
grey skies
I woke up really early, and normally the sun would be rising, but instead I woke up to a really really grey sky. I HAVE NO EXPLAINATION AS TO WHY I woke up feeling lonely and sad and just un-loved? I woke up missing something I don’t have. I woke up missing “home”.
I woke up crying? Not yet, I called Steven just to see if he was alive. Then I went to shower and cried in the...
"Home"
You know, as I drove away from my Austin home, awaiting my arrival at my new home in Dallas, I was a bit anxious. I was jittery. I was sad, yes, and always contemplated the next time I’d visit my family with arms wide spread and smiles across their faces.
This is not the case.
I’ve been told to not come home, or to not even bother visiting. I’ve been abandoned in a sense that...
my honey
becomes a man today :]
Moving in is the funnest day ever!! (unless you got shit loads of stuff to pull up the stairs.)
What I truly feel...
My parents can fucking love me. They will never like me.
What the Buck, College?!
So tonight I have never endured a storm so intense in my WHOLE LIFE. I’m not even exaggerating, the apartment windows are paper thin, so all noise comes in as easily as it goes out.
The storm initiated around 2 AM where thunder and lightning kept waking me up from sleep. My room mates pow-wowed in the living room and I just thought they could sleep through it so I sat in my room holding my...
Optimistic
about everything. Oh how I love everything, minus the storming weather NONETHELESS
I’m happy. So happy. I’m in love. So in love. I’m blessed. So blessed.
Thankful for more than a handful, I’m going to bed.
Ten
Today is August, 19th, 2009.
10 Months ago, I was slowly getting use to the rhythms of your walking. One stride for you was two and a half strides for me. 10 months ago, you and I were under a tree at church, I was anxious, you were nervous. 10 months ago you and I were texting fervently during my stat classes and choir classes wondering what you could have possibly meant by your words the...
Things NOT to do:
Don’t spray raid in the air like it’s air freshener, let alone don’t think that “Raid” is air freshener of any sort.
Don’t defrost raw meat for too long, it starts to cook in random places.
Don’t try opening the windows for “fresh air”, they’re bolted. Oops.
Don’t freak out when looking at a cockroach, call Cameron to step on...
“When you love someone, you should treat them the way you feel. Sometimes words...”
– Unknown (via littlemiss) (via quote-book) (via iamblessed)
chagrin d'amour
What I need:
to go in and settle this battle for the money I need to pay for books. Hello FinAid office.
a trash can for my room (left it at home :[)
A key ring of some sort (also left at home)
a box of my left contacts (I brought TWO boxes of my right contacts…dumbest move ever.)
A calendar whiteboard. Please.
If you have any 4x6 pictures of you and I, send them my way, my walls are...
packing
leeyesa:
is one of my least favorite things in the entire world. I really need to start though, and it’s scaring me; packing means I’m actually leaving. and as excited as I am, I’m getting reeeeeal nervous.
Oh goodness, I was in that same position 3 days ago. I can promise you that you’ll enjoy it. Nostalgic? Yes. Anxious/Nervous? Very much so. But it really isn’t all that bad. But...
SUMMARY
this will be incredibly boring, but this is for my own reference.
SO; I fell asleep last night with salty eyes around 3:45, I tried to stay awake to send Steven off for his trip but that failed. After waking up to Hey Arnold on my computer on repeat, it was around 4:29 AM, at this point I freaked out and called to see if I made it in time or not. Luckily he was only in the car almost at the...
my apartment
Is quite the cozy little thing. Because we have a larger layoutplan we are in huge need of a nice dining room table type thing. Nothing too fancy, something doable for 4 girls :D
sqeezing my hours out...
Although most of my day consisted of going up and down my stairwell, moving things in and moving more things out, and fulfilled with the surprise of a recent job loss and the water heater not working. I tried to have a conversation with my mother, it started and ended with her yelling and talking to me in a tone that sounded spiteful. I had a conversation with my father, but that was short-lived...
Last Day
It’s surreal really, I woke up after having a nightmare that I met my cool roomates, only they all turned out to be insane, journal reading, pillow stealing, locker finding kleptomaniacs. I woke up to my dad a little slower than usual, after losing a job I suppose that’s how men react, they just don’t say much. Hopefully, I’m just praying PRAYING that it’ll be a...
last few thoughts
12 hours together today. my hands are cramped from writing letters. I got you in trouble. I’m sorry and I love you.
Courtney Keeler
After unpacking
I’ll run to your room, I’ll have the tissues, I’ll say good bye to mum and pop and little brother after his birthday dinner
I’ll run to your room, I’ll do what’s needed. We’re moving into something totally new and totally scary. I’ll need you too.
Things I love Thursday
the smell of your hair; the way your hand finds mine; pink stationary; eating meals in the warm weather; driving ; loving you; adventures.
“Our grandchildren (and, for the younger generation, even our children) will...”
– Marco.org:
This sort of thing makes me feel nostalgic, like we’ll lose something beautiful or like one of the minor hardships that brought us together has vanished forever. Not this time.
(via squashed) (via robot-heart)
je suis une menteuse, oui, le message était hier soir pour vous, et je suis trop craintif pour l’admettre.
Czasami ja właśnie chcą się krzyczeć “HEY Jestem Twoja, tak PAŃSTWA przyjaciółką i ja znajdą się szybko opuszczających.” należy podać niektóre mi pewną swobodę, pragnę cię Jestem panuje. Ja “tylko trafiło się kilka dni po lewej stronie i tak, i czy można czuć drugim...
