For you I’ll be a week gone, and as of right now you’re sleeping and I can see that your tired little eyes are closed on our little webchat. The silences is peaceful all at once. I’m missing you while you’re in New Orleans, you probably already know, more than know. You’re sleeping. I’m awake, and caffineated. You look peaceful, you look serene. I’ll try to wake you up before I leave, but the chances of that happening will be slim, but I promised to get you up before. I miss you, did I say that? I miss you, so terribly much.
One week, 7 days, it’ll be okay, it’ll make August 2nd that much grand-er when you and I can physically embrace each other again. The sun is up and so am I. You’re drifted and I can hear Cassidy breathing (weird eh?)
I’m putting together the last few pieces to my packing puzzle, the essentials, the needed items, the “I can’t live without” items. I’m rambling is what it is. I’m sorry for frustrating you, sorry for being so far away. But I think we take these things in better strides and it makes it…perfect.
Imperfectly perfect. i love it. I really like the way you stayed up just to see me a little bit more before I take off. I feel guilty really, robbing you of the sleep that you treasure most above food. Hopefully you’ll be enjoying yourself and by the week’s end you’ll catch up on sleep without having to tend to my nightly/insomniac needs. One week, for you, July 31st, for me, August 1st I’ll be back in America, For us it’ll be August 2nd, and for us again we’ll be in our 3 hour class/training for Ethics and Integrity in the Ministry. WHOOT. I’m rambling still, and I’m more than sure that you’re unaware of me typing things out like this for the public to see. I hope you don’t mind, and if you did, oops :p
I try not to drop a smile around you, well it’s hard not to smile around you. It’s hard being away from you for a while. That’s okay, get to bed, I’ll still be yours in the morning, afternoon and night, wake up again only to discover that the cycle still exists.
Enough of my restless rambling, I love you, Steven.
“The to-read pile is more than just a physical stack of books: it’s a tower of ambitions failed, hopes unrealized, good intentions unfulfilled. Worse still, it’s a cold hard reminder of mortality. Already, I have intentions to read more books than I can hope to manage in a normal lifetime. How will this pile of books taunt me when I’m 64?”—Sam Jordison (via 52books) (via kristyn) (via robot-heart)
to swallow without a stinging sensation. Bed rest seems lovely, until you wake up with nothing to do and without the permission to move. I’m really hoping that food will stay down soon, and that this is all just food poisoning rather then some other complicated medical story I have to sit through come Thursday.
Oh Immune system, how you fail thee. speaking of which, with all the times doing nothing but catching up on medicated sleep, I was inspired to start a 365 again..and try even harder to be committed…Foreals, that or a lookbook ‘cause God knows how vain a girl can be when she has a camera in possession. Let’s see how I come out diagnosed first and I’ll decided on my poison of choice, 365 or occasional lookbook? Either one would be fun I think. I’m just rambling…I should sleep.
always hear things like, live today like there is no tomorrow or life is short so live it well, and it wasn’t until last night at church that it actually spoke to me. I’ve realized that I’ve been taking life for granted. I’ve always thought another day was guaranteed and the possibility of death never even crossed my mind. Last night I realized though that death is unexpected. No one really knows when they are going to die. I don’t want to be one who wastes their time anymore. I want to live everyday like it’s my last. How do I do this, I’m not sure, I’ll just have to pray that God gives me the wisdom and knowledge to do so. I do know it’s not a simple task though but I’m willing to take it on.
If you have the time go listen to this sermon, I hope it will speak to you like it spoke to me.
the first two days of the rest of my life. Dallas/Richardson and the whole environment was very relaxing, (around campus that is) Downtown was scary since the roads don’t work like actual SQUARES, however we managed. I made plenty of new friends, enough to keep me studying, people with…motivation, something I truly lack when It comes upon homework time.
Funny thing is, during registration, my best friend and I walked into different advisings room when our name was called, right when our names were typed into the system, BAM, the system around campus went down. So we had to wait, an hour until registration for us finally occurred. Whoot hoo.
So since my reg/adv. time was 9:30, I didn’t become a “Comet”, (stop laughing, I’ve had enough of the oddly shaped mascot) until 1:00
Then we ventured on home, got back at 5, left again around 10 to go downtown for a widdle clubbing session :]
ps. if you have a guy step on your toe, make a huge deal out of it, and then make him get you a drink. I convinced a guy that I was 20 and that in 3 months my birthday was to occur. So, feeling apologetic and flirtatious, he got me a drink; Steven, you’re a good sport.
SUMMARY IS: I had a great few days, I’m so happy and beyond blessed to have spent one more day with Steven before he went to ‘Nawleens for a while. I am also happy I saw my beef again, he keeps me in check. I’m just happy and sleepy and stomach-achey.
goodnight to you all. goodmorning if you consider 4:14 AM morning.
really nice to talk to my little brother about God tonight.. I’ve always been too scared to talk to him before but tonight went well. It was nice to see how bright my brother is.. like I’ve always viewed him as my little brother but he is about to be 14 and in high school and to hear how mature he sounded when he was talking to me tonight almost made me want to cry a little.. I remember changing his diapers.
you know what this reminds me of what Mrs. Hilsabeck said about the older sister and a younger brother. Something along the lines of how the older sister is really the mother to her younger brother.
That’s how I feel about Alex going to High school, good God.
at 4 AM, taking our stuff and driving, me driving for 3.5 hours to Richardson. My eyes wanted to fall out and my legs were cramped. Traffic sucked when 6 AM hit and we were at downtown Dallas ready to move on.
Richardon, TX, will be my home in 30 er so days, am I ready? Sure am. It’ll be fun, different, a change, it’ll be far from you but we can do it :]
MY FRIENDS AND I STARTED A SCRABBLE CLUB! :D IT’S OFFICIAL!
what i need to say and what I cannot say and so will type out instead. You know it, I know it, it’s inevitable. Don’t scare me, I won’t scare you.
Day by day step by step, this is going to be a lot harder for you AND me unless you cooperate. Please just accept it, I’ll accept what will and could possibly come within the next half year. Please stop blaming me, I get anxious, more scared then anything.
There’s only so much I can do, so much they can do, so much we can do, you picking apart of the situation won’t heal me. I’m sorry.
Oh please, mom, just please please, tell me everything will be okay, that’s all I ask.
you have a tendency to overlook things. Stop it stop it stop it. You also have the tendency to stay up into the obscure hours of the night/morning, quit that, it’s showing in your blackened dark eye circles. Dear Kristina, I’m praying for you and for all your silly fears to disappear. Dear Kristina, it’s okay to be scared.
“You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone. You’ll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it’s gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It’s like you feel homesick for a place that doesn’t even exist. Maybe it’s like this rite of passage, you know. You won’t ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it’s like a cycle or something. I don’t know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that’s all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.”—Andrew Largeman, played by Zach Braff in Garden State (2004)