December 2009
HELLO
2010, you’re right around the corner and I wanted to set a few things straight for the new year.
Cut out the coffee; with my moleskine, I tallied every cup I had since around April, and it is quite a stunning amount, especially since I moved to a new environment, I had a caffeine galore in Dallas. So I’m cutting down, for the sake of my body, and for the sake of whatever else is left...
who are you
who are you. I wonder.
I was suppose to know you best. But I don’t and it slightly frightend me.
Who are you? Who have you become? How did you get this way and how did I alienate myself?
How did I get to where I would end up in silence?
What happened to writing that would shake the ground you stood on? Where are the critters that tickled my throat out of giddyness? Where am I in my own...
4 tags
UP!
I truly think that this movie has won its way into my heart. I always cry in the beginning like a babbling brook. I’ve seen it a good 7 times and still, i have the same reaction…haha :)
juss sayin’.
blackberry app for tumblr?
it truly IS Christmas! :)
sickness
is second nature to my body, all the time, everytime. I wake up with a sore throat and a fever. I force myself out to bed to go see the cousins who came by to visit. I force myself to go out with them and for a good chunk of the time I spent enjoying with them, I was secretly dying on the inside. My head hurts, my body aches, and I got chills. (sounds like a FLU! [NOT AGAINN! :(])I’ve been...
freezing
what a sad sad year.
“Sometimes I feel like it’s not worth it because I hate having to miss you. I...”
– (via eletheowl)
wth, stop reading my inner thoughts that I try to hide from everyone else.
Let me work out my rambling(s)
while the general public in which reads this blog (which is a very very VERY low number) either;
A. enjoy my thoughts. B. read this and leave. C. cruise my tumblr for pretty pictures to reblog/quote etc or D. join in an exciting conversation with I.
This is what I’m thinking and am currently having a conversation about. Identity, the Human condition (man’s nature in general), and...
“as the coffee ran dry, so did the conversations.”
– mel thinks it poetic.
l'estranger
leave the silence, please.
my setiments and exact feelings.
Ρasko nа ѕinta ko Ηanap-hаnap kіta Βakit kа nagtampo Iniwan аko Κung mawawala kа Ѕa piling ko ѕinta Ρaano аng Ρasko Inulila mo Sayang ѕinta аng sinumpaan Αt pagtitinginang tunаy Νais mo bаng kalimutang gаnap Αng аting suyuan аt gаlak Κung mawawala kа Ѕa piling ko ѕinta Ρaao аng Paskong Αlay ko ѕa іyo.
Natasha Bedingfield
“I just don’t want to do anything to pressure you. Or drive you away. Even though...”
– One Tree Hill (via eletheowl)
i gave myself
3, yes 3 consecutive panic attacks. One was from setting my alarm two hours ahead to think that I could be late/force me to wake up earlier causing me to think I had not scheduled cleaning, packing and reading very well. 2nd was from thinking I ran out of water bottles in my apartment was was going to be forced to drink tap water (which at the WV and UH apartments, are nasty. Lastly I...
This is what I felt
Today I felt like I raped the chemistry final. Raped it and refused to cuddle afterwards. THEREFORE, my final grade, if calculated correctly I will end up with an A- in the class. Which overall satisfies me in every way possible.
Today I felt like I was going to die in the hours before the test; crawling on the ground bawling like a child, rolling in the living room floor and cramming my notes. I...
so cryptic. so far. so silent.
can I quit this shit now?
please? I hate it more than anyone else could hate anything.
don’t believe me? Take one for yourself.
its kind of a waste if you ask me.
rssll5:
Because nobody even goes to people’s actual blogs. they just check their dashboard. But anyways i like my new tumblr layout. so if you wanna click on my little picture you can see it :)
I made it fit my needs :] I turned it into a tropical paradise with the splashes of pink and greens!
Today
I met someone going through a similar situation that I am in. He is scared as much as I have been avoiding the topic at hand for months. He also pops 8 + pills daily to obtain normalcy, he has also attempted to flush them down toilets, set them on fire etc etc…
He also goes through withdrawals from friends; contemplates silently often; goes through frequent blackouts and frequent random...
Red Eye
Venti. Get three pumps of white mocha while you’re at it. Make sure they fill it to the rim; make sure the steam fogs your glasses. Take that corner at starbucks, the one strategically placed with an outlet, take it for yourself and plug in. Ear buds in, books out, music on, zone out.
Make sure your working; working fast, working slow, just working.
When needed, take a walk around the...
“I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to say that there was no one else...”
– One Tree Hill (via eletheowl)
written quietly
for those who blog, and enjoy blogging, HUZZAH to you; this is my sanctuary, where my thoughts come together and form into little sentences that dance across the page.
This isn’t something I share lightly.
This is what it is
oil stains on glass,
oil on the walls. Perspiration remaining on the very thread of each fabric and your scent still lingering on what I wore last with you.
sleep deprived, for reals. I’m taking Rosanna’s couch.
Tell me
Tell me now.
White Elephant
with a 10 dollar limit, SO basically, I bought a memory foam pillow thing for 10$ and was planning on stealing it from anyone who took it, only when my best friend stole it, I didn’t have the heart to steal it back, so I opened up another gift…which was a packet of white v necks from hanes mens. Basically, I got myself another packet o shirts…haha.
CauCo#2 is on my dick again,...
square one
dammit. Why? I keep asking myself why why why?
I don’t know what to do anymore. I hope I can press charges, on top of that, I hope that I’ll find some sense of peace and remember to eat and not feel overwhelmed by the fact that I’m still,
yes me, am still at a standstill.
The loss
of sleep; of appetite; of clumps of hair; of sanity and much more.
You know something. I wish I knew too. The fact is; loneliness exists, in small bursts at a time, and it normally hits you at the weirdest times to face.