2010, you’re right around the corner and I wanted to set a few things straight for the new year.
- Cut out the coffee; with my moleskine, I tallied every cup I had since around April, and it is quite a stunning amount, especially since I moved to a new environment, I had a caffeine galore in Dallas. So I’m cutting down, for the sake of my body, and for the sake of whatever else is left (apparently it adds to anxiety attacks…so definitely going to quit slowly.)
- Learn better ways to manage money, spending excessively ESPECIALLY when I’m upset is NOT an economical answer to my dwindling cash account. Back in the office I suppose? I can always tutor children again. :]
- Better myself. ‘nuff said.
- Tell the people you truly care about how much they mean to you as much as you can. Long story short, not everyone hangs around for as long as you like them to. Oh I know, boo hoo, whatevs.
- Throw myself to my own education and to whatever tickles my fancy; music minor? GREAT! Now pursue it and don’t forget what you’re really after. (Don’t let mom and pops down, they did a LOT to get your ass where you’re at now)
- Practice what you Preach. ‘nuff said.
- Stop church hopping and find a legit church to stay put at (this is going to be a while, although I do fancy Prince of Peace or “POP” for short…I also like the fact that they’re labeled as a “Singing Community” ahh, I found my home.)
- Continue your writing rambles, like when you write for pages at a time and forget what the purpose of it was for. I miss having pen stained fingers at the end of a long writing rant.
- Keep your promise to Grandmama. She’s gone and she’s been gone for 4 years, and your only promise to her was to set your brother straight. Do it now in his “vulnerable” age, get to him before someone else does.
- Read more books than you did last year. Decorate your walls with shelves of books.
Dear Kayteens (circa 2009),
You went through some hell for your first semester. IT’LL BE OKAY. There’s a lot to be remembered from this year, from getting Arnold to graduation, from falling in love to screwing things up completely. There’s a lot for you to still learn and if you feel ridiculous typing a letter to yourself, quit it, you do weird stuff on a daily basis, this should justify as “normal.”
Homesickness sucked, being in a new area sucked, but I think you found some perks to brighten up the gloomy weather that seems to dominate near campus. I’m quite proud to see the religious bloom grow a bit more this year, and I’m a bit upset at the lack of care you gave to schooling (even if you did well, it wasn’t great.) Get lost in music more often, I think you enjoy that quite a bit.
Get organized, clean your room more often (puhaha), take care of Arnold, and be everything you can be. Focus, and if needed, splash some water in your face, and look at yourself again in the mirror, you can do it, even when other things are scaring you enough to say that you can’t.
As ridiculous as this letter may be, I think you needed it. A year in review.
Cupcake wishes and love,
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE, TUMBLETTES.