November 2009
my goodness
I have a thumb bleeding from Baby Emmy waking up cranky from a nap because a text message set her off to bite the crap out of my thumb.
moving on to new medication and moving doctors, avoiding surgeries and check ups, running away by staying put.
My head is filled with too many thoughts.
Value of man and plenty of other caffeinated...
A man with a daughter. A single man with a daughter. A drug addict with his daughter. A man who will go to no ends necessary to fulfill his need of a high, at the expenses of ignoring his child, to the expenses of stealing from family, work, etc.
there are so many options left to save him. The value of his life right now? I’m not sure. The question is, how does he talk his way to my...
IRL
So this is the breakdown. 5 hours worth of traffic to come home, night blindness is my downfall, which turns the roads into a dangerous game of follow the tail-lights. From here I come home and daddys work schedule keeps him away while mother and I nap on the couch. Thanksgiving day, the plan was to go to Houston and spend time with family, both sides. Due to the work schedule, my parents argue a...
1 tag
in the end
we are just organic life-forms who fall into fragile situations.
make&break.
Ole
Muie Rendera…Ole Muie Renda.
Thank you, FSA
tonal changes, the inflection of words, emphasis on syllables. Expression, facial, physical, emotional. Vocal, coherent, verbal, focused. Aimed.
Tonality, quality of words, quality of formation of sentences. Discussion. Silence.
the lack of.
Immune system
failure.
I like it when skirts or dresses billow out. I like sitting in churches. I like it when the congregation all sing. I like things in unison. I like to laugh, but those are seldom and rare.
I don’t like how my stomach rejects everything. I don’t like how my bottom retainer hurts more than my top. I don’t like how I can’t think about anything.
I don’t like...
Je ne sais pas
parce que tu est mal. nous ne parle pas. je suis triste. j’ecoute a ma mere que tu as tres tres mal, avec le rhume? Je ne sais pas.
J’espere tu voudrais parle avec moi…
Today I
sent off my transfer application…
Crossing my fingers?
It’s whatever right now.
When it hits you
I hope it doesn’t hit you as bad as it did me.
Stye
I went through today. I did what was needed to be done. I saw stars, I saw some fall, I made wishes and I giggled some. My right eye has redeveloped a stye and is irritated to no reasons understandable. I made a new video today, check me out on youtube, dawgs!
I found a little sanctuary, where I can silently sit and enjoy whatever noise is created in the rooms near me. Sadly I’m yet to be...
I revoke my
previous statement. I will be watching it tonight. Nothing but stars falling from the sky to keep me distracted right?
SO THEREFORE TOTAL PLANS FOR TODAY: go to classes, coffee, find a piano, coffee, write AHIST paper, coffee, FSA volleyball games/wishing my Kuya a happy Birthday, coffee, keep working on AHIST paper, coffee, meteor shower.
there is
another meteor shower tonight.
I won’t be watching it. If you need me, I’ll be in the deep chasms of God knows where.
Talking
Without the Ambien to drive you to a hibernated phase. It actually makes me irritable. things aren’t going the way they’re planned in my head
but right now
after talking with a friend of mine, I’m walking ever so slowly.
“Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing...”
– -DCFC What Sarah Said
I’m so sorry, Bac Lan…
Just too much... →
Tragedies
normally fall in a line, one after another. They hit us while we’re young. They hit everyone in their youth. Tragedy is the same for all.
Perhaps these are blessings in disguise. Sometimes these things happen to an extent to where denial is all you can hear. Sometimes I don’t get it.
16 years young, vibrant, beautiful and smart. God has his reasons? It’s hard to believe...
Alone
rssll5:
I’m so alone. The alone that can only happen when you give someone everything you have and they crush you, they say that you aren’t good enough. You’re hardest wasn’t good enough. Your kind wasn’t kind enough, your love wasn’t loving enough, you’re sacrafices didn’t Hurt enough. So now that’s all you can do. Hurt. And cry. And hurt some more. Not hope. Not wait. No, you know better than...
“if you want to talk about fucked up, I quit dating you because I got addicted to...”
– Confessions of an ex boyfriend from way long ago…
nauseated
I was told
to not type on here how much it sucks
but it’s my outlet so fuck it. IT SUCKS. Everything Sucks.
But what are you to understand? the nights on the living room floor, curled up with all the lights on. The nightmares that occur one my eyes are closed and how most of the time I wake up crying. The night terrors that awaken my roommates on a nightly basis. the quiet quiet space my room offers,...
why
why why why
what what what
but why…
Dear Mom and Dad,
I couldn’t help it.
I’ll be your bio major daughter….with a music performance minor.
thank you.
Thursday
I have no polaroid/poladroid picture to post up. I could have gotten a nice shot of all the Guy Fawkes masks that invaded the dining hall in remembrance of the 5th of November, but that failed miserably as I ran there in new shoes that ripped apart the back of my foot, and got stuck by a huge construction traffic from them repairing the sidewalks and installing a useless fountain. I could have...
the minute
my eyes finally closed, for longer than an hour
it happens again. I can’t do this.
I can’t handle the night terrors or awakening to the same
living room floor that I spend my nights on.
And thus
It’s polaroid week? I don’t want to sound stupid. No. Flickr confirmed, it’s polaroid week. About to bust out my pseudo-film and enjoy the magic happenings of poladroid. Oh how not having money to waste on fun things kinda sorta sucks.
happy ‘roid week to all my film lovers who actually has the talent to do such artwork.
I'm not feeling this whole
“Kristinacan’tmakeuphermindtosavealifesothereforeshe’sstucktryingtomakeadecisiononthingsthathavescaredhermorethananythinginthisworld”
Silence
After speaking to many panicked friends,
We believe that the silence that we once sought after is no longer golden…It’s actually rather haunting. It’s awful. It’s deafening in its own right. Silence is powerful; a statement; a symphonic rally against whatever the argument maybe. Silence says too much and just enough at once. Silence is nothing.
Right now there is no...
i always
forget to photograph the moments that really
keep me sane.
