to not type on here how much it sucks
but it’s my outlet so fuck it. IT SUCKS. Everything Sucks.
But what are you to understand? the nights on the living room floor, curled up with all the lights on. The nightmares that occur one my eyes are closed and how most of the time I wake up crying. The night terrors that awaken my roommates on a nightly basis. the quiet quiet space my room offers, I’ve yet to walk in it. How long is this suppose to last? Not sure, BUT I keep running here. yes, here. What I normally think of as a refuge is here. But Sometimes I think foolishly to think that this place could save me from any misery I’ve endured.
I was told not to say it
but I miss him.
I couldn’t help it.
I’ll be your bio major daughter….with a music performance minor.
thank you.
I have no polaroid/poladroid picture to post up. I could have gotten a nice shot of all the Guy Fawkes masks that invaded the dining hall in remembrance of the 5th of November, but that failed miserably as I ran there in new shoes that ripped apart the back of my foot, and got stuck by a huge construction traffic from them repairing the sidewalks and installing a useless fountain. I could have gotten a photo of my teacher when she fervently spoke about post impressionism, she had so much life in her! (She also for some reason makes me really happy when she teaches, I think it’s her enthusiasm.)
I could have gotten a picture of Roland’s cake, but by that point in time, my energy had drained and i wanted to punch the next person to piss me off in the face. I could have gotten a photo of my car’s twin, but I decided not to.
I could have gotten a photo of Don running at me with his lab notebook ready to hit me, but I decided to stare in disbelief. I should have gotten a photo of the duct-tape cardboard boat, but my hands were busy taping the thing together with my big bro and FSA.
I wish I got a picture while I was at Ikura’s, but I was too busy mooching off of my big bro’s advantages at the place/enjoying sushi. Keith got pictures, but I begged him to never ever show the public/world those photos.
I wish I had a picture of everyone trying to sleep on the couch and me fighting for space.
my eyes finally closed, for longer than an hour
it happens again. I can’t do this.
I can’t handle the night terrors or awakening to the same
living room floor that I spend my nights on.
It’s polaroid week? I don’t want to sound stupid. No. Flickr confirmed, it’s polaroid week. About to bust out my pseudo-film and enjoy the magic happenings of poladroid. Oh how not having money to waste on fun things kinda sorta sucks.
happy ‘roid week to all my film lovers who actually has the talent to do such artwork.
